Foiled by the Winchesters
by Windyfontaine
Summary: Written for a fanfic challenge. Slacker Todd finally found what he wanted to do with his life-be a vampire. Unfortunately for him the Winchesters keep showing up and "saving" him from his fate. One shot, humor. Shoot me now, lol.


**Foiled by the Winchesters**

_The two times Todd Peterson tried to become a vampire and failed, and the one time he almost succeeded._

A/N: Hi, I'm back again, with another story that isn't one of my ongoing stories, lol. I wrote this for a challenge on the Supernatural dot tv board and just had to do this first. I am working on Ghosts though. The challenge was to write a story with vampires. So this improbable fic popped in my head and I just ran with it. No spoilers, but set sometime after season one as the boys know vampires are real. And um-I kinda wrote this with my tongue in my cheek. Actually I was outright laughing at my poor OC. Does anyone ever do that with their own characters? Needless to say I don't own the characters from Supernatural, and am not making any money off of this. Although I did get quite a bit of fun from it :) Hope you enjoy!

-----

Todd Peterson sighed and swiped yet another customer's card across the checkout counter's glass. He mechanically began moving said customer's items over the scanner's electronic eye. A steady beep beep beep could be heard as each object passed on to the moving belt which took them to the end of the register, where his friend Gary was waiting to put them in a bag. Todd scanned the customer's last item and hit the "Total" button. 

"That'll be forty eight seventy three," he told the person in a bored voice. He barely looked up, just taking the cash, punching the appropriate buttons and when the register opened putting the money in and taking out the change.

"Thank you for shopping here and have a good day," he mumbled the appropriate closing sentence.

Still not looking up he reached out for the next card, but there were none forthcoming. 

"Hey crap for brains, no one else is standing on line. The store's deserted, man," Gary helpfully told him. 

Todd finally looked up, his watery blue eyes taking in his friend's cool triangular beard. He could never get his facial hair to look anything like that. He had a drab face, a drab body, a drab job, and oh yeah, a drab life. He'd never had a girlfriend, had never moved out of his parents' house, and had just barely graduated high school. His guidance counselor had told his parents to save their money and not send him to college, but maybe to a vocational school. The man had tried and failed to find anything that piqued Todd's interest. So here he was in the local supermarket, earning minimum wage while he was supposed to "find" himself and figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Like he really wanted to do anything other than hang out. 

"Yeah, well maybe it's time for a break," Todd replied.

"Don't know if Manny will go for that, everyone else is off. I mean it man, the store is EMPTY," Gary said, waving his hand around. 

This time Todd really looked up, and swung his gaze around. His register was the only one that was lit; all the others were dark. And it was so quiet he could have heard the proverbial pin drop. Weird.

"There should be someone else on," he said.

Picking up the phone, he hit the intercom button.

"Hey, this is Todd on register thirteen. Who else is supposed to be up here?" 

Gary grinned widely. "Man, you are going to get in trouble for that."

Todd shrugged and waited. Like anyone else would want this job. He looked at Gary. 

"Dude, did you notice everyone leaving?"

Gary shook his head, brown eyes as mystified as Todd's own. "Nah, I was busy. Y'know how it is, keep your attention on the current customer. When he walked out I noticed how quiet it got."

"Yeah," Todd agreed, and glanced at the clock high up on the wall above the front windows, which his register was facing. "Hey, it's almost eleven. Maybe we'll close up early."

Gary nodded, hoping the same. They worked the night shift, the store being open to midnight. It being slow sometimes at this hour was not unusual. What was unusual was the complete silence and lack of other employees. And hey, no one had answered Todd's call. 

"Dude, this is strange," Todd said, about to page the supermarket's office when the office door located by the first register swung open. 

Todd and Gary looked at the door, but no one came out of the office. They waited. And waited. 

Feeling a bit uneasy, Todd called out. "Hey! Can we take our break?"

There was no answer, and the two young men looked at each other. Todd looked around for anything that could be used as a weapon, and picked up the triangular plastic grocery divider. Gary grabbed a few plastic bags. Thus armed, they left their spots by the register and began to stalk cautiously to the open door. 

Todd turned to Gary and said in a stage whisper, "Dude, what are you going to do with those? Offer to bag the victims?" 

Gary scoffed at him. "Like you can do any more than annoy someone with that thing? It weighs less than a pound!"

Todd shook his head. "Man, what are we doing? If this were like a horror movie we should be running out the door right now."

Gary grinned, "I know. But it's probably Manny playing a practical joke on us. When you switched all the coffee labels and made people think the real stuff was decaf in the break room you really ticked him off." 

Todd smiled. "Yeah, but it was worth the look on his face when he didn't know why he had so much energy. Only an idiot would drink decaf."

"Yeah, but Rob kept falling asleep and got in trouble." 

"Well he should get some sleep instead of going to the bar all night," Todd said a bit enviously. 

By this time they were almost at the door. Giving each other a quick look and hefting their make-do weapons Todd nodded at the door and said quietly, "On three."

Gary murmured, "One, Two,-"

"THREE!" a strange voice yelled from behind them. 

Letting out a yelp, the two employees dropped their weapons as they turned, their eyes widening as they took in the sight now in front of them. Red blood. It was streaking the front of the stranger's jacket and dripping onto the floor in front of heavy boots. Gulping, the two noticed that the blood was dripping onto the jacket from above. Slowly, like in a campy horror movie, they raised their eyes to look at the stranger's face. 

The stranger was smiling at them, but that put them far from at ease as dripping from the strangers mouth was the origin of the blood on the jacket. Protruding from the stranger's open mouth were fangs set into a swarthy face with cold blue eyes and black hair. 

"Boo!" the vampire said upon noticing their stares and Todd and Gary were released from an involuntary paralysis. Letting out a cry, they scrambled to get out of the way, Gary running past the stranger to get to the exit of the supermarket while Todd ran in the opposite direction, into the office. 

He barely had time to see a scene of devastation; Manny leaning back in a chair with his sightless eyes fixed on the ceiling while blood leaked from his neck; two other cashiers lying on the floor with their throats ripped out; and the safe open with bills scattered about.

Before he could fully process it he felt a blinding blow to the back of his head and he collapsed to the ground. Through fuzzy vision he could see stiletto heels walk in front of his face, and a small hand touched his cheek. 

"Mmm, dessert," a feminine voice purred. 

Todd heard the sound of boots heavily striding into the room.

"Hey baby, thought you were going to share," a masculine voice rumbled.

"Anything for you darling, he's all yours," the woman responded.

Todd's vision slowly came back into focus, and he realized he'd been hit with an empty register drawer. The woman (vampire, he thought, she had to be) dropped it onto the ground next to him.

"Uh," he managed to squeak.

"Honey, I do believe your food is talking to you," the woman told the male vampire. 

The stranger's strong hand easily lifted Todd up and threw him to the other side of the office, where he hit the wall and slid down it to lay in a heap. The woman smiled and sashayed over to her companion. She threw a handful of money in the air and rose up to give him a scorching kiss as the bills fluttered around them. The man lifted the woman up and she wrapped her legs around his stomach as they continued to kiss, licking the blood from each other's mouths.

"Why can't I be that strong?" Todd thought illogically. He guessed maybe he had a concussion or something because he wasn't scared. He was probably going to die and he'd finally found what he wanted to be. He wanted to be a vampire. Now that would be cool.

"Hey!" a voice yelled. Three pairs of eyes turned to look at the office door, where a tall stranger wearing a leather coat was holding a crossbow. 

"Sorry to interrupt," Dean started and then shrugged. "Nah I'm not. Don't you know PDA's are not allowed during store hours?" 

The vampires snarled and the crossbow fired, the male vampire grunting as the arrow hit him in the back when he turned to shield the woman.

They both fell but the woman sprang up again almost immediately and darted for the hunter, only to be felled by an arrow herself when a second crossbow fired.

"Took you long enough," Dean muttered as he dropped his crossbow and pulled out a machete, his brother doing the same. 

Before Todd could fully process what was going on, metal flashed, there were a couple of thuds, and a head rolled along the floor only to be stopped by his shoe. When he realized what it was-the scary guy vampire's dead eyes watching him with an almost disappointed expression-he screamed. A full out, girly shriek that would have been perfect in a horror movie. Then he fainted. 

He roused slightly to the sound of hushed voices arguing.

"We should do him too just to be safe."

"We don't even know if he's been turned! Look, there's no blood by his mouth."

"Maybe he drank it all."

"Check his teeth then."

"Fine." 

Todd felt pressure around his mouth, but he was too dazed to offer any resistance. A thumb pressed behind his front teeth, and there was a grunt and the thumb withdrew, his mouth closing again. He had a feeling he might be drooling a little.

"Satisfied?"

"So he isn't a bloodsucker, but he might have seen too much."

"No one will believe him, and besides we have to get out of here."

"Yeah okay." 

There were the sounds of footsteps receding, but then he heard some getting closer and felt a breath puff over his ear.

"You didn't see what you thought you saw. You imagined everything. And if you tell anyone that vampires are real or people hunt them you'll be missing a head too." 

Then footsteps were leaving again, and Todd decided being unconscious was a good thing, and promptly blacked out.

Over the next few weeks, life slowly returned to normal for Todd, or as normal as it could be after having seen vampires and knowing your boss got killed by them. The police had taken his statement, where he said he'd run into the office, seen the devastation, got knocked out and had been unconscious until an officer had awoken him. They had believed him, and then cleanup had begun. The store closed for a few days and his parents didn't pester him about a career choice. Todd however began to research where one might meet a vampire, bought clothes he didn't let his parents see, and at night after his shift-once the supermarket reopened (the store now closed much earlier, so Todd was off night shift)-he went out and put his plan into action. He was a bit less than successful however.

-----

Todd trudged along the sidewalk in the growing dusk, the bruises from being thrown out of the club still fresh. He didn't understand; he'd dressed appropriately, had behaved the correct way-was there some radar they had that said 'normal person, avoid at all costs'? At this rate he'd never meet another vampire.

-----

In an upscale apartment classical music was playing, while a woman tapped impatiently on a table. Her mate was late.

Tabitha sighed, whirled around, and promptly banged her head against the gaudy Victorian lamp Ian had insisted on buying. 

"D-!" she started, noticing the blood now running from a cut on her forehead. Of course it would heal, but that wasn't the point. She decided she needed to go and get some food, which would make her feel better. Ian could get his own. As she strolled along the sidewalk she chose her meal. That one was too thin. That other one bore a striking resemblance to a man on an infomercial. He had been touting his exercise machine. She shook her head, too stringy. The stench of alcohol wafted past her delicate nose and she hurried past the drunk. Been there, done that, and no thank you. 

Then-oh yes that one would do nicely, very nicely indeed. 

Todd jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder. He quickly turned around, to gaze into the most remarkable eyes he'd ever seen in his life. Their colors seemed to change, from blue to brown to green, like a kaleidoscope. Mesmerized by those eyes, he barely noticed the gorgeous female body they were set in. 

"I know you don't know me, but would you like to be dinner?" a seductive voice said.

All Todd heard was "you" "me" and "dinner". "Yeah, sure!" he said breathlessly, and eagerly followed the mystery woman to a nearby alley. 

Tabitha smiled, her teeth lengthening as soon as she reached the shelter of semi darkness. She turned to face her intended meal, allowing the hypnotic effect to fade from her eyes. It was sweeter when they struggled a little. 

Todd blinked, and gasped. "You...you're..."

"Your worst nightmare, I know," she crooned.

"What? No. That was seeing my boss naked. You're a vampire! I've been looking for you!"

Tabitha cocked her head and growled, grabbing a fistful of Todd's mesh shirt. "What do you mean you were looking for me?"

Todd squirmed. "No, no. Not you specifically, but a vampire in general. I want to become one. I want you to make me a vampire!"

Tabitha stared at Todd in shock, and perhaps that could be the reason that she didn't hear the hunter suddenly enter the alley behind her. 

"Hey! Get away from him!" a deep voice rumbled.

She grabbed Todd and whirled, holding him in front of her as a shield. Of course, that left her back completely vulnerable to the arrow dipped in dead man's blood shot by the other hunter which suddenly pierced the back of her right knee. She jerked and lost her grip on the human, who fell to the ground at her feet. 

Reeling from the poison in her system, she was aware of the one who'd shot the arrow moving by her to reach for her former meal. With a burst of hatred for their kind she grabbed the shaggy haired hunter by the throat, lifting him up and pinning him to the alley's grimy wall. 

He fought back but was no match for her anger as she felt his neck constricting. 

"Let him go you bitch!" the other hunter yelled, aiming a crossbow at her heart.

"No, don't!" Todd lunged up between Dean and Tabitha, spreading his hands.

"I was asking for it, honest. She wasn't doing anything wrong!" Todd implored, as the sounds of Sam choking met their ears. 

Tabitha's grip loosened as the poison began to affect her, and she watched Todd in wonder. Unfortunately for her, Sam managed to kick out of her grip, knocking her to the side. Dean immediately fired, and while Sam rubbed his throat and tried to get his breath back his brother took out his machete. Todd groaned as his would-be key to being a vampire was decapitated. Well, there was always next time.

"You okay?" Dean asked, looking at Sam worriedly as he quickly cleaned off the machete.

"Yeah, fine," Sam croaked, then they both turned to look at Todd.

"Hey buddy, no more seeking out vampires, okay? Or what I said to you about missing your head? I meant it," Dean growled, looking Todd straight in the eyes. Then Dean turned to look at his brother, where the bruises were just starting to come out around his neck, and Dean turned to look at Todd again. Todd gulped, and nodded, and then the Winchesters headed out of his life again, Dean gripping his brother's shoulder.

-----

An intelligent person with self interest in survival probably would have left it there, but Todd was finally set on a course and wouldn't be swayed. He did lay low for a few nights, hanging out with Gary and playing Xbox, but the fifth night after the vampire incident Gary finally had a date and Todd dressed in his "special" clothes. 

"I'm going out!" he yelled to his parents, hoping that when he saw them next he would be changed.

He was out the door before he heard their response. This time he picked a different club, sure that he might meet a vampire there. Those other guys were probably long gone from the town by now, or at least he hoped so. He kept an eye out for them however, and relaxed when he didn't see them in the club he finally managed to get into. In a dark corner he thought he spotted a possibility.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you're into sucking blood," he grinned at a voluptuous beauty who was sipping at a ruby red drink. She was very pale and Todd was almost certain she was a vampiress.

She looked him up and down and then sneered. "Not yours, honey. But I know someone who will." She nodded behind him, where a tall thin and elegantly dressed man at odds with the rest of the club's patrons had materialized noiselessly behind him. 

Todd whirled, to stare into kaleidoscopic eyes, very similar to…

"Wow, you have eyes just like her," he said. Tact was not one of his strong points.

The man opened his mouth, vampiric fangs appearing. With dazzling speed he'd grabbed hold of Todd's shirt. "Eyes like who?" he snarled. 

"A-a-a la-dy vam-vam-pire I met," Todd stuttered.

"You met my mate?" Ian growled. 

"I asked her to turn me but we got interrupted. Hey, can you make me like you?" Todd asked, looking at Ian's fangs, fascinated rather than repulsed.

Ian turned to look at the woman at the table, but she held up her hands and shrugged as if to say "he's all yours".

The vampire turned back to Todd, and then smiled, eyes dark. "I can't make you like me, but into something even better," he told the human.

If Todd had been paying attention, he would have run at that point. But Todd was set on his course, so he happily followed the vampire as he was led into the empty bathroom. Ian locked the door, and then turned to his waiting meal. 

"What do I do?" Todd eagerly asked.

"Just close your eyes and keep them closed," the vampire purred.

"Okay," Todd agreed, standing next to one of the sinks and closing his eyes. 

Suddenly he heard a commotion, and then the sound of the door being kicked in like in a movie. He kept his eyes closed though, hoping the vampire could finish whoever off and then get back to business, namely turning Todd. It was not to be his day, however. There were the sounds of a scuffle, a grunt, metal hitting metal, and then an awfully familiar thud. Swallowing, Todd opened his eyes, and turned to see the vampire in two pieces on the floor, torso and body near the door while the head had rolled under one of the sinks. A knife was still gripped loosely in one of the vampire's dead hands. The taller shaggy haired hunter was cleaning off a machete while the other one was kneeling on the floor holding his shoulder. Todd groaned. Of course they would show up. 

"Dean?" Sam said, kneeling next to his brother and trying to get a look at his injured arm.

"Dude, I'm fine. Let's book before we're discovered," Dean said, but he allowed Sam to help him up and give him rolled up towels to hold against his still bleeding shoulder. 

Sam turned to Todd, glaring at him. "Seriously man, you stirred up activity in this town. We've been running all over having to track them. Just, lay low and be happy you're not a vampire!" 

Todd nodded, and Sam walked out the door, but before Dean left he stared at Todd and made a cutting motion with his hand. Todd gulped and nodded harder and then he was alone in the bathroom with a dead undead body. Undead but now dead body? Todd decided he'd had enough and he should just scram, and he hurriedly left the club. Once home he burned his "special" clothes, erased all the sites on his computer about vampires, and enrolled in the local vocational school. 

He found that he actually did have a skill-cooking. He started in the culinary program, and soon his parents were being treated to vichyssoise soup and Lamb au Poivre; Risotto and sliced cucumber salad; and many more delicious and well made recipes including desserts like Tiramisu and Ginger Crème Brulee. The only thing Todd wouldn't make was anything involving blood. No steak tartar from him. But other than that quirk, his chef/teacher was pleased with his progress and told his parents that, and they soon looked forward to him leaving the nest as a successful chef himself. 

One day as he was leaving the school late he had his final run-in with a vampire. He wasn't even looking for it; images of salmon fillets and wild rice pilaf filled his mind, and as he went to open his car door the feel of a hand suddenly jerking him backwards took him completely by surprise. 

He blinked at the kid, who couldn't have been older than him but who was gazing at him hungrily with lips peeled back to show familiar looking fangs. 

"Oh no, look, I don't want to be one of you anymore, I mean it! I'm a chef now, I like real food!"

The vampire blinked. "What are you on about?" it rasped. "You-you want to be like me? Be my friend?"

Todd stared at the kid.

"You'd let me turn you? Really? 'Cause I never turned anyone before and it would be cool. We could hang out together and everything!"

Man, that vampire was pathetic, Todd thought, wondering why he'd ever wanted to be one in the first place. 

"This'll be great! I get to feed and get a friend too! Okay, just hold still…"

Todd looked around, wondering where the two hunters were, but the street was quiet.

"Uh, well, you see, I kinda changed my mind about that, and um, sorry you're lonely and all, but I'm sure you'll find a friend somewhere else, but hey, if you want, I can go back in that building over there and get some blood for you, it's cow but I'm sure food is food to you, and-" Todd knew he was rambling, but he really really didn't want to be a vampire or its meal anymore.

The kid looked at him as though he was crazy, and at that moment the zing of an arrow sliced through the air and the vampire jerked. Todd took that opportunity to slither out of its grasp and ducked around his car, and the two men he thought he'd never be happy to see again were there. One, two, and the vampire was headless. 

This time Todd took the bull by the horns, and came back around the car to say, "Thank you for saving me! I really didn't go out of my way to find him, I promise! No more vampire hunting for me! Vampire? What's that? They're a myth! They don't really exist. Neither do people that hunt them. Yep, I'm just going to go home and cook a nice meal, with no blood, no blood at all, and not think about mythological creatures, 'cause they're not real. Nope, not at all, and if you two regular people get hungry we serve gourmet lunches at the school's cafeteria every day at noon and it's open to the public. Well, I gotta go now, to my nice normal home where I sleep in a real bed at night, not a coffin, and I get up in the morning and go out into the sun and everything. I even eat garlic. Lots of it. I love garlic! It's my favorite. You gotta try my garlic mashed potatoes. Okay, well, then, bye!"

Todd opened the car door, started up and peeled out, leaving two confused Winchesters with their mouths hanging open behind him. 

Sam turned to Dean. "Was it something I said?"

Dean just grinned back at his brother. "Nope, guess he's just a whack job, but a normal human whack job. You know it's true, people are crazy." 

Shrugging, the brothers cleaned up the vampire mess and left town, having knocked off all the vampires in the area. 

Todd never saw another vampire in his life, and when he became a successful chef running his own restaurant he met the love of his life and got married, and lived happily ever after. The same couldn't be said of the vampires he'd met however of course.

The End. 

Thanks for reading, and have a great day :)


End file.
